1 00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:10,367 - Attention, Black Holes. 2 00:00:10,367 --> 00:00:12,633 As you know, it's homecoming week. 3 00:00:12,633 --> 00:00:15,800 For those making floats, don't forget this year's theme: 4 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:19,133 "A Midsummer's Nightmare on Crenshaw." 5 00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:21,033 - Aye, I love homecoming. 6 00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:23,167 Thirsties be ready to smash. 7 00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:25,233 - Anything that gots the words "ho" and "coming" in it 8 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,200 is cool in my book. 9 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,033 - Now that Cindy's finally cut Randy, 10 00:00:29,033 --> 00:00:30,633 I'ma she if she tryin' to double dribble 11 00:00:30,633 --> 00:00:32,167 these balls at homecoming. 12 00:00:32,167 --> 00:00:34,967 - Basically, you're going to the dance No Hope Solo. 13 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,867 - Quit hating, Fatty Wap. 14 00:00:37,867 --> 00:00:39,367 I bet I get a date before you. 15 00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:46,467 - There you are, you little fruity snitch! 16 00:00:46,467 --> 00:00:47,467 - Oh, my god. 17 00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:48,467 Randy, don't make a scene. 18 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,367 - You're the reason Cindy broke up with me! 19 00:00:51,367 --> 00:00:52,467 How dare you tell her 20 00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:54,700 that my sexuality is complicated? 21 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,133 - Ain't nothing complicated 22 00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:58,367 about you liking men, boo boo. 23 00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:01,100 - Well, there's nothing complicated 24 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:02,433 about kicking your ass. 25 00:01:02,433 --> 00:01:03,833 - Oh, shit. 26 00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:05,567 It looks like Cindy's boy is getting punked. 27 00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:06,667 We should help him. 28 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,100 - Andre bigger than all of us. 29 00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:09,700 She don't need no help. 30 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:11,300 - Somebody should help her do a better job 31 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:12,800 tucking that meat print, homey. 32 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,200 - First of all, pause. 33 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,200 Second of all, if I stick up for Cindy's boy, 34 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,733 hopefully she'll let me stick it up in her. 35 00:01:17,733 --> 00:01:18,733 Shum on. 36 00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:19,867 - Kick his ass, Randy. 37 00:01:19,867 --> 00:01:21,300 He on some Michael Sam type shit. 38 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:22,533 - Let him go, buster. 39 00:01:22,533 --> 00:01:23,733 Hating on someone 'cause they're gay 40 00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:25,700 is like me hating on you 'cause you gay. 41 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:27,667 students: Boo! 42 00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:28,867 - I'll suck his dick. 43 00:01:28,867 --> 00:01:30,333 I mean, "boo!" 44 00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:31,667 - I'm not a homophobe. 45 00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:33,100 That's why I'm getting in his ass. 46 00:01:34,267 --> 00:01:35,867 I mean, I'm getting in his ass 47 00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:37,133 because I'm not gay. 48 00:01:38,133 --> 00:01:40,200 I mean, fuck you guys. 49 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,133 - Wow, I didn't know you were woke, Grover. 50 00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:46,067 Open-minded men are so sexy. 51 00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:47,233 - I'm opened minded as hell, 52 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,300 Shit, I almost cried when George Michael died. 53 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,100 - Yeah, gay nigs are straight... 54 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:56,200 - What? 55 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,167 - Damn, Andre pimp hand is strong. 56 00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:02,600 He hang out with all the rainbow tasties. 57 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,533 - Yeah, dem fruit flies is nice. 58 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,500 Did you see how they were treating us? 59 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,633 - And just wait till they see us in our new shirts. 60 00:02:08,633 --> 00:02:09,633 - Hey, Grover. 61 00:02:09,633 --> 00:02:11,167 I can't thank you enough 62 00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:12,700 for doing what you did earlier. 63 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,900 You know, it takes a real man to stand up to bullying. 64 00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:17,067 - Don't sweat it, Andre. 65 00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:19,200 You know you'll always be our nig. 66 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,300 - Mmm. Okay. 67 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:24,267 - Grover, you guys are F.A.G.s too? 68 00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,300 - Yeah, we some big fags. 69 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,200 - And we proud of it, homey. 70 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,367 - Of course. I told you I was woke. 71 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,733 I can't stand to see my Fairykhan nigs hated on. 72 00:02:32,733 --> 00:02:34,067 - Oh, really? 73 00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:35,867 Well, I'm running for homecoming queen. 74 00:02:35,867 --> 00:02:37,467 Keep it up, and who knows-- 75 00:02:37,467 --> 00:02:39,133 maybe you'll be my king. 76 00:02:39,133 --> 00:02:41,367 - Shit, more like a Sacramento King. 77 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:43,833 - Just to let you know, 78 00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:45,933 we're doing a gay pride float 79 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,467 for the homecoming parade. 80 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:50,067 You guys should all be on my, um... 81 00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:51,800 Staff. 82 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,533 Kidding! 83 00:02:53,533 --> 00:02:54,700 No, I'm not. 84 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,433 - Eww! Dis nigga. 85 00:02:56,433 --> 00:02:57,533 - We'll be there. 86 00:02:57,533 --> 00:02:58,900 - Great! Tootles! 87 00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,533 - See you later, New Booty. 88 00:03:07,267 --> 00:03:09,467 - Mwah! 89 00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:11,333 - I got Oxy. - I'm good. 90 00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:13,067 - I got Percs and Zanys. 91 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,633 - No, thank you. I'm fine. 92 00:03:14,633 --> 00:03:15,967 - No white lady's ever fine! 93 00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:17,200 I see cuts on arm. 94 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,567 This make pain go away. 95 00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:20,133 Make everything okay for six hour. 96 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,933 - Fuck off, Tokyo Drift. 97 00:03:21,933 --> 00:03:23,200 - Man, we been at it all day 98 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,467 and ain't made no money yet. 99 00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:25,700 What's going on? 100 00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:26,867 It's not like white middle-aged women 101 00:03:26,867 --> 00:03:28,467 suddenly got self-esteem and happiness. 102 00:03:28,467 --> 00:03:30,367 - I'm no detective and stuff, but maybe 103 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:32,533 it has something to do with that over there. 104 00:03:32,533 --> 00:03:33,733 girl scouts: Girl Scout Cookies. 105 00:03:33,733 --> 00:03:36,467 Girl Scout Cookies. 106 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:37,800 - Look, Boss. 107 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,433 They're full of gluten, MSG, and sugar, 108 00:03:39,433 --> 00:03:41,067 the most addictive drug on planet. 109 00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:42,233 - Man, they should be handing out 110 00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:43,633 insulin with each box. 111 00:03:43,633 --> 00:03:46,067 - That diabetes is no joke, ese. 112 00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:47,633 It took my mom's cleaning arm. 113 00:03:47,633 --> 00:03:49,233 - Are you kidding? Slingin' on my block? 114 00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:50,233 Come on. 115 00:03:50,233 --> 00:03:52,300 all: Look left. Look right. 116 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,867 Not a car in sight. 117 00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:57,633 - Aye, who you supposed to be? 118 00:03:57,633 --> 00:03:59,367 - My name is Sarah Runningwater, 119 00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:01,700 and we're a part of the original Girl Scouts. 120 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,867 - OGS on mine, my Injun. 121 00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:08,633 - Well, I'm Malik, and the only tribe around here is Quest. 122 00:04:08,633 --> 00:04:10,700 And this is my pipeline, Dakota. 123 00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,933 - Well, Boondocks, this is my land. 124 00:04:12,933 --> 00:04:14,533 And we're not giving it up again. 125 00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:15,700 - You must be on that firewater 126 00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:17,067 if you think you can come on my block 127 00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:18,833 selling those over-processed baked goods. 128 00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:20,467 I been slangin' here since I was six, 129 00:04:20,467 --> 00:04:22,867 and I have no reservations about moving you. 130 00:04:22,867 --> 00:04:25,133 - We're not going anywhere. 131 00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:26,533 - Nah, see, you got a choice. 132 00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:27,833 Either you kick rocks 133 00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,367 or we gonna turn y'all into red dots. 134 00:04:29,367 --> 00:04:31,533 So what's it gonna be? 135 00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:33,300 - All right, Little Brown Running Mouth, 136 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,300 you win... 137 00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:36,200 for now. 138 00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:39,867 - I love your skirt, Jamal. 139 00:04:39,867 --> 00:04:42,067 Way to tear down masculine paradigms. 140 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,600 - Yeah, Jaden Smith wears one, 141 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:44,933 and ain't no better role models 142 00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:46,367 than celebrities' childrens. 143 00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:47,533 - You're cute, Jamal. 144 00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:49,133 You know, if we got married, 145 00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:50,900 I would let you take my last name. 146 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:52,833 - You fine too, Hillary. 147 00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:54,133 Oh, shit! 148 00:04:54,133 --> 00:04:55,933 I think Hillary gon' let me fuck... 149 00:04:55,933 --> 00:04:57,200 raw. 150 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,200 - It's so nice to meet cisgendered boys 151 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,933 at Duncan who are ahead of the curve. 152 00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:05,100 So what got you interested in the LGBTQ struggle? 153 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,100 - Oh... uh... 154 00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,767 My bitch-ass stepdad is gay. 155 00:05:07,767 --> 00:05:10,200 He got aids and everything else, too. 156 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,867 - Oh, you poor thing. 157 00:05:11,867 --> 00:05:13,533 Here, let me give you a hug. 158 00:05:13,533 --> 00:05:16,067 - Oh, shit, Rachel gonna let me fuck... 159 00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:17,533 raw. 160 00:05:17,533 --> 00:05:20,067 - And I think we should have transgender bathrooms. 161 00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:21,733 When you don't know whether to sit or stand, 162 00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:22,733 it's your choice. 163 00:05:22,733 --> 00:05:24,167 - Me too! 164 00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:25,967 You know, I thought all you hoopers were the same: 165 00:05:25,967 --> 00:05:27,167 just a bunch of idiots 166 00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:28,933 that only think with their penises. 167 00:05:28,933 --> 00:05:30,333 But you're different. 168 00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:32,700 - Oh, shit, Cindy gonna let Grover fuck her. 169 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,067 - Raw. 170 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,067 Excuse me. 171 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:38,200 I'm sorry, but can y'all 172 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,900 pick up the pace a little bit? 173 00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:42,200 I mean, we are totes behind sched. 174 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,200 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. 175 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,567 In a minute. 176 00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:49,333 - What's it gonna be for you, Debbie, the usual? 177 00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:50,700 - I would, but, um... 178 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,333 the little red-skinned girl with the cookies 179 00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:53,633 told me that if I buy from you, 180 00:05:53,633 --> 00:05:56,200 she's gonna scalp my cookie supply. 181 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,867 Sorry, these cookies are the shit. 182 00:05:58,867 --> 00:06:00,467 - I can't believe this is happening. 183 00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:01,933 - Man, look at all these fat people. 184 00:06:01,933 --> 00:06:03,567 When did my hood become WalMart? 185 00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:05,833 And where the heck is Pete and Rodrigo? 186 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,367 - Ah, rats, they forgot Boss toy. 187 00:06:09,367 --> 00:06:11,633 This Nappy Meal suppose to come with switchblade 188 00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:13,067 and a box of bullets. 189 00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:14,133 I be back. 190 00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:15,533 - How! What's up, Rodrigo? 191 00:06:15,533 --> 00:06:17,367 - What do you want and stuff, Pechanga? 192 00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:18,700 - Look, I know Malik and I 193 00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:20,400 got off on the wrong black foot. 194 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,367 Take this peace offering, free of charge. 195 00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:24,333 - Orale, I love cookies. 196 00:06:29,933 --> 00:06:31,633 - If you want more, you know where to find me. 197 00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:35,167 - Hey, guys, we're gonna go get waxed. 198 00:06:35,167 --> 00:06:36,200 You wanna come? 199 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:37,233 guys: Yes! 200 00:06:37,233 --> 00:06:38,667 - Exsqueeze me? 201 00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:40,967 Where the hell do y'all think y'all going? 202 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:44,133 The fringe still needs to be festooned. 203 00:06:44,133 --> 00:06:45,533 - Too bad, New Booty. 204 00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:47,067 We only wax once a year. 205 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,067 Maybe next time. 206 00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:49,733 - What the fuck, Rainbow Raheem? 207 00:06:49,733 --> 00:06:51,933 We could finish this fruity shit tomorrow. 208 00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,500 - You know, I'm starting to think 209 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,167 that you guys don't really care about gay people. 210 00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:57,167 - That's not true. 211 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,533 We love the gays. 212 00:06:58,533 --> 00:07:01,367 Hell, we even watched half of an episode of "Insecure." 213 00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:03,433 I might even smash Issa Rae. 214 00:07:03,433 --> 00:07:04,833 He got some feminine qualities. 215 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,133 - Oh, yeah? 216 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,967 What's the name of Beyoncé's third album? 217 00:07:08,967 --> 00:07:10,300 - Uh... "Lemonade"? 218 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:11,533 - Wrong! 219 00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:13,367 Everybody knows it's "Sasha Fierce"! 220 00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:14,867 Y'all ain't Queer as Folk. 221 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:16,300 Y'all are frauds! 222 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,800 You guys are using me to get... 223 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,233 Vajayjay! 224 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:22,533 Ugh! 225 00:07:22,533 --> 00:07:24,533 You know what? I'm calling Cindy right now. 226 00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:25,800 - Whoa, chill! - No, no, no, no, no. 227 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:26,900 - We sorry! 228 00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:27,900 - Yeah, don't snitch on us, bruh. 229 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,067 Our skeet depend on this. 230 00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,367 - We'll do anything, man. 231 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,467 Please. 232 00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:32,533 - Anything? 233 00:07:32,533 --> 00:07:34,867 Somebody gonna get fucked... 234 00:07:34,867 --> 00:07:35,867 raw. 235 00:07:39,867 --> 00:07:41,133 - More pastels, Milk! 236 00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:42,467 And, Grover, 237 00:07:42,467 --> 00:07:44,433 don't be so damn butch with the glitter! 238 00:07:44,433 --> 00:07:47,433 Hurry! I want perfection, boys. 239 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:48,433 - Come on, man. 240 00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:49,533 We been working all day. 241 00:07:49,533 --> 00:07:50,767 - You guys want bitches? 242 00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:52,600 Well, bitches cost. 243 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,367 And here is where you start paying for it. 244 00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:57,267 In glitter and sweat. 245 00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:58,867 Whoo! 246 00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:00,433 Now back to work! 247 00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:03,067 - I gotta admit, I liked fingering his box 248 00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,233 more than I thought. 249 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,433 Here goes nothing. 250 00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:08,433 - It's glorious! 251 00:08:08,433 --> 00:08:10,333 - Man, you giving the fruit game a black eye. 252 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:11,500 This shit's embarrassing. 253 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,600 - Embarrassing? 254 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,700 This is an assterpiece, honey. 255 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,667 And it's going to get me more likes on Instaham 256 00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:20,233 than that basic bitch Cindy. 257 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,500 - Man, we did what you wanted. 258 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,533 Now do you promise not to cock block us? 259 00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:26,433 - Okay, let's get one thing straight, boo boo. 260 00:08:26,433 --> 00:08:28,533 Andre don't block cocks. 261 00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:29,833 - Man, enough of this dick chat. 262 00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,600 You gon' keep your word or what? 263 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,167 - Oh, no, no, no, no, darlings. 264 00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:36,767 We've only just begun. 265 00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:40,600 From now on, you three are my slaves. 266 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,100 Y'all gonna help me get something 267 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,233 I have always wanted. 268 00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:46,100 You're gonna help me become 269 00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:51,233 homecoming queen. 270 00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:53,067 - Man, we ain't doing that shit. 271 00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:54,300 - Oh, really? 272 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,867 Then how about I go up to Cindy and tell her 273 00:08:57,867 --> 00:09:00,833 that y'all ain't nothing but a bunch of homophobes. 274 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:03,067 Then you will never get up inside of her 275 00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:04,467 between-me-down-there. 276 00:09:04,467 --> 00:09:06,500 So what's it gonna be, gentlemens? 277 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,067 - Dis nigga. 278 00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:12,933 - I can't wait until Andre leave us alone. 279 00:09:12,933 --> 00:09:15,800 He made me stay up all night bedazzling his posters. 280 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,167 - At least he didn't make you proofread his Grindr page. 281 00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:20,667 This fuckin' Pop-Tart can't spell cream pie. 282 00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,267 Where the fuck Jamal? 283 00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:25,567 - Ladies and gentlemen, 284 00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:27,600 the next homecoming queen. 285 00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,400 Can I go now? - No. 286 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,067 You better hand out these flyers. 287 00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:59,167 Vote for me for homecoming queen 288 00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:01,667 because that's what I identify as. 289 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,333 If you don't, you're a shitty person! 290 00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:06,500 - Vote for Cindy! 291 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,600 Preacher's daughter! 292 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,000 Always sweet! 293 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,233 - You know what's not sweet? 294 00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:11,700 Her ass. 295 00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:14,433 Child, her colon blows up more shit than Boko Haram. 296 00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:16,667 I hate your guts right now, 297 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,833 but that was pretty funny. 298 00:10:18,833 --> 00:10:22,333 - You look totes fab, you smoking hot bitch! 299 00:10:22,333 --> 00:10:23,500 - Thanks. You too. 300 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,067 Look, Dre, I just want to say 301 00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:26,667 that I'm very proud of you for 302 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,833 jumping in the race at the last minute. 303 00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,000 And no matter what happens, 304 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,600 this won't come between us. 305 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,667 I promise. 306 00:10:32,667 --> 00:10:33,833 Cross my heart. 307 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,400 - Of course, girl. Good luck! 308 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,833 - You know what she should cross is her legs. 309 00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:40,100 All that hair? 310 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,333 It's like Colin Kaepernick 311 00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:43,100 passed out in her damn lap. 312 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,933 - That jacket is fab, my nigga. 313 00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:48,267 Is it for bottoms only or can tops get it, too? 314 00:10:48,267 --> 00:10:49,600 - You wish. 315 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,267 With those hideous shoulders? 316 00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:53,333 Hells no. 317 00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:54,533 Now be gone. 318 00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,767 - Bitch. 319 00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:02,667 - Real talk, Andre getting on my last nerve. 320 00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:04,233 He lucky he's got them beezys. 321 00:11:04,233 --> 00:11:06,333 I'm this close to getting a progressive hand job, my nig. 322 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,933 - Are we homophobic if we call him an asshole? 323 00:11:10,933 --> 00:11:11,933 What about a dick? 324 00:11:11,933 --> 00:11:12,933 - I don't know. 325 00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,067 I think anything with a dick 326 00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:15,433 or an ass is off-limits, though. 327 00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:17,067 - Ahh, shit. Here he come. 328 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:19,767 - Jesus, this place is disgusting. 329 00:11:19,767 --> 00:11:21,067 Now, listen, bitches. 330 00:11:21,067 --> 00:11:23,333 I have one more job for you to do. 331 00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:25,767 I need you to break in to the principal's office 332 00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:27,833 and stuff my ballot box. 333 00:11:29,267 --> 00:11:30,300 Here's the key. 334 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,567 - What? 335 00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:32,900 I thought you said this was a small job. 336 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,167 - Look, y'all do this for me, 337 00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:35,500 and I'll leave you alone forever. 338 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:36,633 No more blackmail. 339 00:11:36,633 --> 00:11:37,833 I'll even put in a good word 340 00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:39,333 with Cindy and the rest of them hags. 341 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:41,933 One good word from a gay BFF, child, 342 00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:43,633 and those panties drop. 343 00:11:43,633 --> 00:11:45,100 - That's not cool, Transparent. 344 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,367 My boo Cindy has dreamed of being homecoming queen 345 00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:48,933 since she got to high school. 346 00:11:48,933 --> 00:11:50,933 - It's a win for you, Grover. 347 00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:54,100 When she loses, she'll be crying and snotin' 348 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:56,667 like Viola Davis during allergy season. 349 00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:59,767 She's going to need someone to make her feel better. 350 00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:01,267 Cue Grover. 351 00:12:01,267 --> 00:12:03,100 Do we have a deal, gentlemen? 352 00:12:04,567 --> 00:12:06,167 - What happened to Rodrigo? 353 00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:08,533 - They got him hooked on the white stuff, boss. 354 00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,200 - Damn. It's worse than I thought. 355 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,400 They're using 100% uncut Louisiana sugar, 356 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,267 the melanated man's Kryptonite. 357 00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:17,733 - Whoo, that's a powerful black cookie, my man. 358 00:12:17,733 --> 00:12:20,267 - Come on, Rodrigo, we're gonna get you cleaned up. 359 00:12:26,233 --> 00:12:27,600 - I can't believe I'm selling out 360 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,133 my future boo like this. 361 00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:31,367 All she ever wanted was to be homecoming queen. 362 00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:34,167 - Look, we all gotta get our nuts any way we can. 363 00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:35,500 Remember, when she loses, 364 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,100 you can give her a dick to cry on. 365 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,433 - Shit, I can't wait to smash Hillary. 366 00:12:39,433 --> 00:12:42,533 Her coochie may be woke, but when I'm done with it, 367 00:12:42,533 --> 00:12:44,200 it gon' be sleep. 368 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,133 - All right students, 369 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:49,867 it's time to announce this year's homecoming queen. 370 00:12:49,867 --> 00:12:53,200 With 114% of the vote, 371 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,933 your new homecoming queen is, 372 00:12:55,933 --> 00:12:57,300 drumroll, please... 373 00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:00,100 Andre! 374 00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:06,500 - Congratulations. 375 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,633 Please come up and say something briefly. 376 00:13:09,633 --> 00:13:11,500 Also, as per tradition, 377 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:15,167 please announce who you've selected for homecoming king. 378 00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:16,833 This should be interesting. 379 00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:19,767 - First and foremost, I'd like to thank me 380 00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:22,467 for having the courage to stand up here. 381 00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:24,267 - How the fuck did this happen? 382 00:13:24,267 --> 00:13:26,167 - It happened 'cause I'm the shit, bitch. 383 00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:28,667 I can shoot a bitch in the middle of the hallway, 384 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:31,533 and they will still vote for me. 385 00:13:31,533 --> 00:13:32,933 Your reign is over. 386 00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:37,300 I run this school now! 387 00:13:38,767 --> 00:13:40,767 - I thought we were BFFs. 388 00:13:40,767 --> 00:13:42,700 - Well, you thought wrong. 389 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:45,267 I did what I had to do to win. 390 00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:47,600 Hashtag Make Duncan fierce again. 391 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,600 Kill yourself, bitch. 392 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,433 And now I'd like to announce my king. 393 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,467 Can't talk, too gay for me, 394 00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:56,767 heard he doesn't wipe. 395 00:13:56,767 --> 00:13:57,967 I choose... 396 00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,367 Jamal! 397 00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:01,067 - I'm not gonna be his king! 398 00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:02,600 He's gay and crazy. 399 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,367 This motherfucker gazy. 400 00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:06,833 - I'm sorry, Jamal, but you have no choice. 401 00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:09,067 If you don't, it's discrimination. 402 00:14:09,067 --> 00:14:11,067 We don't want a lawsuit on our hands, 403 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,367 or worse, a concert by Lady Gaga. 404 00:14:13,367 --> 00:14:14,367 Ugh. 405 00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:15,833 - I guess you gettin' sued. 406 00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:17,167 Better lawyer up. 407 00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:18,667 - Tough titties, Jamal. 408 00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:20,167 You've been chosen. 409 00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:22,167 Andre, he's all yours. 410 00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:23,167 - No, no, no! 411 00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:25,067 I did not ask for this! 412 00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:31,067 - This ain't the kinda nut Jamal wanted. 413 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:32,267 - Well, on the bright side, 414 00:14:32,267 --> 00:14:34,167 we ain't never gonna hear his fart again. 415 00:14:34,167 --> 00:14:36,500 - I can't let him do my boo Cindy like this. 416 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,433 First, Cindy gets played, 417 00:14:38,433 --> 00:14:40,267 now he's holding Jamal's asshole hostage? 418 00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:41,533 We gotta straighten this gay guy out. 419 00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:46,533 - I'm glad y'all came to me. 420 00:14:46,533 --> 00:14:48,700 Look, there's a difference between being 421 00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:52,600 a proud gay like me and a sass like he is. 422 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,267 He ain't nothing but a bully. 423 00:14:54,267 --> 00:14:56,900 - Shit, more like a dick-tator. 424 00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:58,500 - We gotta take that motherfucker down 425 00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,700 and get our boy back. 426 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,500 - Okay, the first thing we need to do 427 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,433 is restore the order of the school. 428 00:15:03,433 --> 00:15:05,933 Meet me at the gym before the parade starts. 429 00:15:05,933 --> 00:15:07,467 This time, we finish it. 430 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,133 - Cookie, cookie, cookie. 431 00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:11,633 Rah! I want cookie! 432 00:15:14,933 --> 00:15:16,100 - I don't want to go and stuff. 433 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,167 What are you doing, man? 434 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,467 Get off me, man. Get off me. 435 00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:19,767 What are you doing, ese? 436 00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:21,333 - They're gonna help you, Rodrigo! 437 00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:22,500 - Pinche cabron! 438 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,400 Chinga tu madre, guey! 439 00:15:30,633 --> 00:15:32,067 - Stick this in yo ear. 440 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:34,533 - No way; I fell for that last time with Andre. 441 00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:35,767 - It's an earpiece. 442 00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:37,400 Now remember: just do what we say, 443 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,767 and we'll set you free. 444 00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:41,467 - Jamal, it's almost show time! 445 00:15:41,467 --> 00:15:42,467 - Okay, my nigs. 446 00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:43,667 But hurry! 447 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:45,733 He already made me watch "Moonlight" 448 00:15:45,733 --> 00:15:46,800 twice! 449 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,100 I mean, it was shot well 450 00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:50,067 and the characters were very complex. 451 00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:51,567 Anyway, just hurry! 452 00:15:51,567 --> 00:15:52,767 Tootles. 453 00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:54,433 - Did this nig just say "tootles"? 454 00:15:54,433 --> 00:15:56,500 - Fuck, we better hurry before Count Cockula 455 00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,200 turn him into a fruit bat. 456 00:16:00,233 --> 00:16:01,933 - Uh-oh. We got trouble, Chief. 457 00:16:01,933 --> 00:16:04,300 - Ah. Look who decided to crawl back. 458 00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:05,933 - I'm not crawling. I'm on two feet. 459 00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:07,067 And I told you. 460 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,767 This hood belongs to me. 461 00:16:09,767 --> 00:16:11,500 - Aww, what are you gonna do, 462 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,767 hit a bunch of girls? 463 00:16:12,767 --> 00:16:15,200 - No, I raised myself not to hit women. 464 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,933 - So the block is ours then. 465 00:16:16,933 --> 00:16:18,933 - I said I can't hit a woman. 466 00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:20,267 But I know someone who can. 467 00:16:23,533 --> 00:16:24,700 - What's that? 468 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:26,233 - One thing I learned in these streets: 469 00:16:26,233 --> 00:16:27,333 middle-aged white women... 470 00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:28,467 they don't like to get fat. 471 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:38,400 - My fat ass had to buy jeggings this week. 472 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,767 - I broke my spanks. 473 00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:41,800 - I can't keep black guys off me. 474 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,433 Don't get me wrong, the sex is good, 475 00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:45,867 but I can't co-sign for another cell phone 476 00:16:45,867 --> 00:16:47,067 or studio time. 477 00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:49,267 I mean, you're 30. Get a job. 478 00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:50,867 No one wants your mixtape. 479 00:16:50,867 --> 00:16:52,967 Those cookies are evil! 480 00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:54,600 Yeah, you like that? 481 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,433 Oh, oh, how many of these products you gonna sell today? 482 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,667 How about none? 483 00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:02,500 - Stop! Don't do it! 484 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,233 - Save your tears for the trail, bitch. 485 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,300 - Thank you! 486 00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,867 Thank you! 487 00:17:10,867 --> 00:17:12,933 Oh, you're too kind. 488 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:14,467 - Yay. We're progressive. 489 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,133 - Go, Andre and Jamal. - We love you. 490 00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:19,933 - Jamal, what is you doing? 491 00:17:19,933 --> 00:17:21,133 - Oh, my god! 492 00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:23,267 The music, it's infectious. 493 00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:25,133 And it's penetrating me. 494 00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:26,600 Hurry up, guys! 495 00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:29,267 - We better hurry. 496 00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:31,067 Jamal's tying his tuxedo shirt into a knot. 497 00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:35,733 - All right, all right. Keep it steady. 498 00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:36,767 Aim for the dress. 499 00:17:36,767 --> 00:17:37,967 - Hold up. 500 00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:39,200 Why are we shooting her dress again? 501 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,100 - Because a queen is only as good as her gown. 502 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,533 Telling me my shoulders are too wide for that jacket. 503 00:17:44,533 --> 00:17:47,100 Shit, I'll wear that nigga as a jacket. 504 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,500 On my count. 505 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,167 Three, two... 506 00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:51,933 Aw, shit. 507 00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:53,733 - Damn it! Move, Jamal. 508 00:17:53,733 --> 00:17:55,067 We're gonna lose our chance. 509 00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:56,433 - I can't, it's too late. 510 00:17:56,433 --> 00:17:58,367 My hips don't lie. 511 00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,867 I'm a goner, my nigs. 512 00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,500 - We can't lose momentum, Grover. 513 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,167 I'ma have to take your boy out. 514 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:07,267 - No, if anyone's gonna do it, it's gonna be me. 515 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,767 - Thank you. 516 00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:19,267 - Oh, so that's what we gonna do now? 517 00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:20,933 Well, when you come for the queen, 518 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,267 you bess not miss. 519 00:18:24,467 --> 00:18:26,100 - Damn, Dre keeps a strap on. 520 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,633 - Get that motherfucker. 521 00:18:31,967 --> 00:18:33,533 - Shit! We out of bullets. 522 00:18:33,533 --> 00:18:35,433 - Time for my contingency plan. 523 00:18:35,433 --> 00:18:37,500 Blackfish, are you in position? 524 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:41,533 - First off, fuck you, nigga. 525 00:18:41,533 --> 00:18:43,633 Second of all, I'm ready to go. 526 00:18:43,633 --> 00:18:45,267 Take Jamal from me, shit? 527 00:18:45,267 --> 00:18:47,433 I'm the only man he'll ever need. 528 00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:57,933 No, no, no, no! 529 00:18:57,933 --> 00:18:59,533 Not the Vera Wang! 530 00:18:59,533 --> 00:19:00,900 I can't afford this! 531 00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:03,333 I was gonna return it tomorrow. 532 00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:07,767 What have you done? 533 00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:10,167 I'll be the laughingstock of all of Instaham! 534 00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:16,667 No! 535 00:19:23,733 --> 00:19:25,167 - Hell yeah, homey! 536 00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:26,667 It ain't a Midsummer's night on Crenshaw 537 00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:27,800 without a shoot-out. 538 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,067 - That went absolutely perfect. 539 00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:30,167 - Look at my outfit. 540 00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:31,167 My shoes are ruined. 541 00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:32,700 These colors don't match. 542 00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:34,067 I'm a hot mess. 543 00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:36,200 - Snap out of it, my nig. 544 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,767 You don't have to be gay anymore. 545 00:19:37,767 --> 00:19:39,233 Thank you. 546 00:19:39,233 --> 00:19:42,100 Being gay is more complicated than you think. 547 00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:43,067 - Thank you! 548 00:19:47,967 --> 00:19:49,967 - Hey, it's good to have you back, Rodrigo. 549 00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:51,933 - That sugar is the worst drug ever, my man. 550 00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:53,633 - Thanks for looking out for me and stuff. 551 00:19:53,633 --> 00:19:55,300 I feel like a billion pesos. 552 00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,633 - I'm glad you're feeling better. 553 00:19:56,633 --> 00:19:58,533 Now the new word of the day is recoup. 554 00:19:58,533 --> 00:19:59,800 - What's that mean, boss? 555 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,267 - It means rehab ain't cheap. 556 00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:02,900 Now, go get my money. 557 00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:04,000 - Cookie, cookie, cookie. 558 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000 I want cookie. 559 00:20:07,633 --> 00:20:09,000 - I'm glad they suspended Andre 560 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,300 for rigging the election. 561 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:11,400 - We saved Jamal. 562 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,400 We some gangster-ass mugs, my nig. 563 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,933 - Man, you ain't save shit. 564 00:20:15,933 --> 00:20:18,067 I'm still getting glitter out of my ass. 565 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,300 My toilet looks like Mardi Gras. 566 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,633 Beads and all that. 567 00:20:22,633 --> 00:20:23,667 - Leave me alone! 568 00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:26,033 - Should we do something? 569 00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:27,367 - Shit, keep walking. 570 00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:30,000 He may look weak, but he also may be an asshole. 571 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,633 - Oh, hi there. I'm Phil. 572 00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:36,567 I work here on "Legends of Chamberlain Heights." 573 00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:39,233 I'm also gay, or if you prefer "homo." 574 00:20:39,233 --> 00:20:40,967 Anyway, wasn't that a fun episode? 575 00:20:40,967 --> 00:20:42,433 We sure did laugh a lot today, 576 00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:43,800 but you know what isn't funny? 577 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,233 Violence against people who dare to be different. 578 00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:48,067 You know, unless they're assholes and they deserve it. 579 00:20:48,067 --> 00:20:50,567 And that's the moral of today's story. 580 00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:52,000 Well, I'm gonna go suck a dick, 581 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,233 'cause apparently that's all the writers 582 00:20:53,233 --> 00:20:54,400 think I do all day. 583 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,400 Hope you learned something. 584 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,367 And remember, gay people are... 585 00:21:01,667 --> 00:21:04,467 - Bitch. Great. 586 00:21:04,467 --> 00:21:06,100 Toodles.